IMG_4156I came across this quote regarding schools a few months ago and I was struck by how true it is for families too:

Civilization must be cultivated; if you want your [family] vision overrun with weeds, no work at all is required.  So the distinguishing features of your [family] must be emphasized and defended.  If neglected, they will disappear.

Right now there are a few things Eric and I can articulate about the family culture we want to build. But too much is vague. If I can’t even articulate these things to myself how can I emphasize and defend them?

I need some help and I’d love to hear from you! What distinguishing features of your family do you strive to emphasize and defend? Leave a comment and let me know!


6 Responses to How about you? What are you cultivating?

  1. Ashley says:

    Good question, and it really made me think…there so many ways to answer this.

    1. We have taught our boys not to look at skin color when choosing their friends, but to look at the heart.

    2. Our boys are friendly to newcomers and try their best to make everyone feel welcome. My heart was happy when my 9-year-old son (10 today!!!) received a card in the mail from his Sunday school teacher letting him know how proud she was of him for welcoming a new child into their class one Sunday. Apparently he and his best friend went above and beyond her expectations in making a girl feel at home there.

    3. They are learning to be more independent and not feel entitled to what they have. We’re going through the book “Cleaning House” this year. Each month there’s a new challenge to undertake, a new skill to learn, a new responsibility to encourage maturity. It’s amazing what they’ve learned in a month! (I need to blog about that…) I can’t imagine what a whole year will do!

    • Melissa says:

      You’re right, Ashley, there are so many ways to look at the question. I love the things you bring up. And how neat to watch your son love the new kid in Sunday school! Praise God!

  2. vika says:

    We never tried to articulate it specifically for our kids but to put it short this is what we focus on:

    1. Humans are created beings by God
    2. Humans are sinful and need God every step of the way (including ourselves parents and kids).
    3. Treat others like you wanted to be treated.
    4. Do everything as for the Lord.

  3. We are trying to cultivate a general belief in God. That he made all things, is always with you, and loves you. Prayer is to be respected and taken seriously, but you can talk to God about anything.
    We want our children to feel a strong sense of belonging, so we do many things together as a family.
    We want to instill a love for learning and reading.
    We stay away from video games and smart phones because we want to teach our kids to be in the moment and to stop and smell the roses.
    We do not have the latest toys or follow trends. We don’t have cable, therefore are not exposed to commercials.
    We prioritize church and cater our lives around it instead of just going to whichever service we happen to be awake for.
    I want to instill Biblical literacy by memorizing key verses, saying key verses frequently (Gen 1:1, Phil 4:13, Eph 6:1), and reading stories. Trying to get in the habit of reading a few verses at breakfast with Daddy and having them “point” to the verse.
    Also, this does not come naturally to me, but I’ve been trying to practice a spirit of hospitality by reaching out to other young families and welcoming them into our home.
    I’m not sure if this is what the article is referring to, but those are some things we hope distinguish our family.
    God is so gracious!

    • Melissa says:

      Great list, Sarah! I really like the very practical things you mention to help achieve the vision your family has. I will definitely be stealing a few ideas from here as we work on articulating our family vision! Thanks for chiming in!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Just a simple math problem to make sure you're not a computer! *